(no subject)

[textileowl]

What a week it has been.

I'm really only going to gloss over the whole time simply because of how easily it put me into a slump for the past few days. I'm not going to let myself fal into that again.

 
Nearly had a panic attack over not having the right color grommets for my rennaissance dress on Sunday. I had judging the next day. But it all came out alright in the end, I simply had to switch out the grommets I had in and replace them with the silver. That dress turned out beautiful. I love just about every part of it except the fact that the overskirt is a bit too stiff.
 My 4-H judging  went smoothly, considering I was the only one who showed up for the Evening wear catagory. My prom dress was the entry and I am now going to the State Fair with it. Yay! It looked even better simply because I had lost a little weight so the cut looked smoother throughout. My renaissance dress didn't do quite as well simply because the other girl's kimono looked awesome. She was only about thirteen and had done such a great overall job that I am glad she is going to State.
 Tuesday was uneventful, which was nice considering all my mom and I did was do errands that took us to Xenia, Urbana and Arcanum. Lots of driving.
 Wednesday on the other hand, was a very bad day.
 I wrecked my car in the morning, don't really know what happened. It just all of the sudden was sliding off the road and into the trees. Smacked a cable box and slid into a tree. Thankfully though, I missed a telephone by all of about a foot and a half. If something like that isn't scary I don't know what is. Unfortunately, my car did not come through as unscathed as I did. The frame is bent on the back passenger side from where I slid into the tree, pushing the strut too far in. There's nothing I can really do about it that won't give me trouble later. My very first car and I've only had about a year.
That night I called off work simply because of  the whole stress factor. I also gained the courage to talk to Aron about his idea that going our separate ways now and on our own terms rather than later and by some stupid mistake is exactly the way to go. I hate that he doesn't trust himself enough to believe that we can make it through a couple of years of college- hell just the first semester would be fine. I also hate how I don't know what I'm going to do without him. But with him being a stubborn ass, not an unusual aspect of him, I guess I will simply have to learn all over again what it was like to not need someone. To be just Jesse and proud of the fact that I don't need him. But then again, I don't just need him. I love him as well.
*chuckles* I told myself earlier that I wasn't going to do this, wasn't going to reiterate all those damned feelings that had left me all screwed up this week. But here I go, doing what I told myself not to do.
Well, other than the obvious, I'm not too worse for wear. Happy birthday to me. I'm going to my mamaw's and papaw's this weekend. Maybe I'll get some time to rest.

Comments

[fallenravie.livejournal.com]

Dude, you're starting to sound like me.

I have a few panic attacks a week. :S I swear I'm going to get checked out, I just don't know when. Or how I'm ever going to talk to my parents about it.

Congrats on going to the state fair! That dress is very cool.

I'm sorry to hear about your car. That really sucks.

I'm also really, really sorry about Aron. You know how conflicted I am about that sunject, but I am sorry for you, sweetie. Things will turn out alright. *hugs you tightly*